Four simple things I learned from religious sisters

Courtesy of the Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist.

Growing up in a Catholic household, vocations were a frequent topic of conversation. My mother encouraged my four sisters and me to visit a convent and spend some time with religious sisters in order to properly discern our vocations. During my sophomore year of college, I was very open to the idea of a religious vocation, and I thought it would be the best time to take my mother’s advice. I promptly signed up to attend a vocations retreat with the Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist in Ann Arbor, Michigan. It was during this retreat that I not only found greater clarity in what I was being called to, but also observed profound wisdom in the way the sisters lived their daily lives. While I eventually discerned that the Lord desired marriage for me, the simple yet intentional way the Dominican sisters approached life has stayed with me. My time with them imparted valuable lessons that I feel must be shared, for they are applicable to all Christians — whether religious, married, or single. 

Pray — a lot!

The first lesson is that prayer needs to be the priority for a Christian. Prayer is the sisters’ full-time job! They spend the greater part of their day in communication with their Divine Spouse. The Apostle Paul reminds us that we must “Pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17), and the sisters take this exhortation seriously. Being immersed in the lives of the sisters meant that when they prayed, we prayed. The sisters’ morning consists of rising at 5:30 a.m. for an early morning holy hour, followed by morning Mass. Then we gathered again in the chapel to pray the Divine Office at midday and again in the afternoon to sing the Rosary and Vespers. They closed the day with night prayer and more singing, and then it was quiet hours, when, I am sure, the sisters continued their own personal prayer. The first day, I admittedly thought this prayer routine would be a bore, and I must confess I dozed off a few times in the chapel. By the end of the week, however, the peace I felt being in conversation with God for that amount of time was a peace that far surpassed any I had felt before. 

It can be argued that it is easy for the sisters because their daily lives are built around prayer, but a lay person living in the world cannot be expected to follow this strict prayer routine. Even so, the Lord does not say, “Only dedicate yourself to prayer if you are a celibate religious.” Rather, St. Paul’s exhortation is for us all, and yet how often do we actually set aside intentional time for prayer? In the words of Mother Teresa: “Prayer is as necessary as the air, as the blood in our bodies, as anything to keep us alive — to keep us alive to the grace of God.”  All Christians, no matter their state in life, should resolve to devote themselves to prayer, so as to live a life fully alive. Think about the immense graces that we would receive if we prayed only a fraction of how much the sisters pray every day.

Cook good food 

Hollywood movies give a false impression of Catholic religious sisters on many accounts. One misconception portrayed in the movies is that a Catholic nun’s diet consists of rice or bread and water. I was under the impression that those in religious communities eat very simple meals and eat very little. While it is somewhat true that they may eat less compared to the lay person who snacks between meals, the sisters, to my surprise, were fabulous cooks, serving us delicious, hearty lunches and dinners. One dinner in particular, a taco “bar,” consisted of two wonderfully flavored chicken tacos on soft tortillas with all the toppings one could imagine, including homemade salsa and guacamole. I remember asking the sister who sat at my table that night whether the sisters “ate this well every night?” to which she replied: “For the most part, yes! We need filling, healthy meals in order to sustain ourselves to do our work and the Lord’s work. We would be unable to fulfill our calling and daily duties if we only ate a little soup and bread.” 

Now, it is important to clarify that religious sisters do have particular days of the week and parts of the year where gourmet meals are traded for a simpler diet for the purpose of fasting. The Byzantine Catholic nuns at Christ the Bridegroom Monastery, for example, partake in a diet that consists mostly of beans for the season of Lent. Outside of these dedicated times, however, it seems that religious sisters cook good food and eat well. The sisters recognize that the Lord calls us to nourish our physical bodies along with our souls. The wonderful thing about a well-prepared meal shared with others is that it has the ability to, in a way, nourish our souls along with our bodies. Leon Kass, in his book, “The Hungry Soul,” says that “The meal taken from the table is the cultural form that enables us to respond simultaneously to all the dominant features of our world: inner need, natural plentitude, freedom and reason, human community, and the mysterious source of it all. In humanized eating, we can nourish our souls even while we feed our bodies.” What distinguishes the way rational humans eat from the way animals simply graze is our ability to create a recipe from ingredients of our choosing and then craft an excellent meal from there.

Good food and a shared meal go beyond nourishing our bodies, which speaks to man’s need for community and beauty. Cooking and eating well are important in the life of a Christian because, again, in the words of Leon Kass, “Thanks to genius and taste, thanks to the extreme generosity and openness of both host and guest, the visage of the eternal shows itself in the midst of the most temporal, as superb food and wine nourish also the spiritual hungers of the assembled.”

Hug your neighbor 

When I was younger, I was not much of a hugger. As an introvert, I mostly kept my greetings to a quick smile and wave with hugs being reserved for my family and closest friends. But as I grow older, I have realized the power a hug has in making you feel protected and cared for. 

The sisters certainly saw the beauty and power in a hug. They always greeted one another with a smile and physically embraced each other, and they did the same to all of us attendees. You could see and feel the love the sisters had for one another. You could also feel the peace this simple practice of the sisters brought to the community. If there was ever a slight misunderstanding or argument between two of them, it was quickly resolved through a hug and a kind word. 

Maybe if the world were less afraid of offending and more welcoming in its posture and expression, there would be greater peace. Now, I’m not encouraging going out and hugging strangers per se, but by following the sisters’ lead in trying to physically embrace those God has put right in front of us, we can act as Christ did and show the love of Christ to others. Jesus demonstrated the power in his touch to heal when Jesus stretched out his hand and healed a leper and when he gathered the little children to himself, thus showing his love through his embrace (see Mark 1:40-41 and 10:16). Religious and lay alike are called to love others just as Christ has loved us (see John 13:34-35). A hug is one way Christians can act in the place of Christ and heal some of the brokenness around us. 

Do not take life so seriously 

Finally, life with the sisters taught me not to “sweat the small stuff.” The sisters treated every inconvenience that was out of their control with a cheerful “c’est la vie” attitude. Whether it was snow blocking the road, flights being delayed, or forgetting the water boiling on the stove, they handled life’s daily struggles with laughter and a quick prayer. While there are sometimes greater matters of concern that arise in our lives, Christ tells us that worry is essentially useless: “Can any of you by worrying add a moment to your life-span?” (Luke 12:25). The sisters understand this fully. 

Religious sisters are not that different from me

My time with the Dominican sisters showed me that the lay and religious states of life are actually more similar than I had imagined. The sisters’ life, rather than being so different from ours, serves as a model for every Christian, providing invaluable lessons on how best to live out the universal vocation of a Christian. We are all walking toward the same end: heaven. Religious sisters have simply unlocked a way, with Christ’s help, we can make the journey a little easier. 

Francesca is a recent graduate of Thomas Aquinas College, where she cultivated her passion for theology, ethics, philosophy, and beauty. She is engaged to be married in June and is excited to continue pursuing her love of writing while stepping into her vocation. To read more of her work, visit her Substack: francescamariev.substack.com.