Who is it all for?

I can’t wait to be married, to be a mother, to be a stay-at-home mom — Lord willing.

Yes, I may complain about it one day, but the thought of piles of laundry, sweeping the kitchen floor after mealtimes, wiping down the counters, making the beds, and cleaning up the little messes my children leave behind, that image brings me so much joy.

I want to be a homemaker. I want to serve my husband and my children. I want to hear little feet running on the floor and giggles filling the walls. 

I want to live on some land outside the city. In a dream world, I’d have a few farm animals, definitely a cat. I’d have a garden to grow some produce. My kitchen sink would overlook a window where I can watch the sunset as I clean up dinner while the kids play outside. 

Maybe I’m romanticizing marriage and family life, but it has always been abundantly clear that this is the vocation the Lord has planned for me, and I can’t wait.

But that’s not the season of life I’m in quite yet. 

Right now I’m living alone in an apartment. I live in the city where I hear sirens and cars revving their engines outside my windows around the clock. At night, I can’t see the stars because of light pollution. I don’t even have a place for a little herb garden. 

At the same time, I am so blessed. I’m engaged and planning the wedding of my dreams to the man of my dreams. I have a stable job and a supportive family. I have a good life, and I know it.

But who is it all for?

Still, there’s this little part of me that feels like I’m waiting for life to finally be complete. So, in this time of waiting, who is it all for?

When I sweep and mop the floors, who is it for? When I wipe down the counters, what’s it all worth? I’m creating a beautiful home. A sanctuary. A holy place to live and rest, but I’m creating it for … me? 

Sometimes these chores feel useless when I am not doing them to serve the ones I love. Of course, I don’t want to live in filth; I love a clean house. But I find myself questioning it sometimes. Who is it really for? What’s the purpose of doing these repetitive tasks if they are not for others?

Dreaming with the Lord

The Lord has shown me that there is value in this housework, even if it is just for myself. It teaches me to grow in virtue. It teaches me how to do the work even without the reward of knowing it is for the ones I love. It allows me to prepare my heart for the future when I will do these tasks in service to my family.

I’ve always been a fan of dreaming with the Lord, sharing with him the desires of my heart. When I dream with the Lord, I tell him my wildest dreams, and he always fulfills those dreams tenfold — maybe in a different way than I imagined but with abundantly more joy and peace than I ever could have imagined. 

So I have begun dreaming with the Lord as I do my housework. Doing the repetitive mundane chores has become a time of abundant joy and peace. These are times when I get to share my heart with the Lord, when I get to dream about the future and give him praise and glory for all the prayers he has already fulfilled.

Looking to Our Lady

This housework turned into prayer has also given me time to contemplate our Blessed Mother. How did she do housework? How did she glorify the Lord while sweeping the floors, doing the laundry, preparing the meals? What did she dream about? 

I know our Blessed Mother glorified the Lord in everything she did, so I try to imagine her daily life, following her example and glorifying the Lord in all the simple moments of my daily life. 

While the housework I will eventually do as a mother and wife will be for my family, more than that, it will be for the Lord. Even today, that work is for the Lord. Everything in our lives can be a prayer and an act to glorify the Lord if we change our heart’s disposition. 

The desire to be a wife and mother does not lessen, but the work feels more fruitful now. It is not for nothing. Even my little acts of housework as I live alone teach me how to love and serve the Lord and my future family. 

Emily is pursuing sainthood through the mundane moments of life. Having recently graduated from college, she is now pursuing her passions of writing, baking, knitting, and other crafts. She is preparing to enter the vocation of marriage and is excited to see where the Lord is leading her next. You can find her on Instagram at @emilymglover.